What Is The Media To Do NOW?
It was a momentous January. Not only did President Trump hammer out a favorable trade deal with the cleverly irascible Chinese that limited their ability to steal American intellectual property (a bad habit to which they were particularly prone), but he signed the USMCA (United States Mexico & Canada) trade deal that is much more favorable to America’s farmers and manufacturers than the NAFTA agreement that preceded it. And, most importantly, the Senate voted to put a stop to the endless parade of partisan impeachment “witnesses”, all with axes to grind, in preparation for a swift acquittal next week. These dramatic victories for President Trump got amazingly little in the way media coverage.
There were a few interviews with crybaby Democrats that claimed the Senate vote was something akin to the apocalypse. There was one interview in which Nancy Pelosi made the logically challenging statement that if the Senate moved forward to acquit Trump, that he, verbatim, “WOULDN’T REALLY BE ACQUITTED.”… WHAAAT?” Then there was a story about National Weather Service emails debating whether Trump “lied” about whether a hurricane might or might not hit Alabama…. WHAAAAT??? And there were a few Superbowl pieces and a few corona virus updates. All in all, pretty sketchy faire with all the major news outlets struggling, apparently, to fill air time and print copy.
Into this vacuum on Friday and Saturday, however, New York’s WCBS 880 featured a story, replayed numerous times, on a unique and romantic Valentine’s Day gift suggestion for someone very short on ideas. It seems that the Bronx Zoo is offering to name one of it’s denizens with a name chosen by a donor with the highest bid . The love struck bidder will have his sweetheart’s name given to a, so far, unnamed animal and the name will grace its cage. Unfortunately, the lucky animal is not a love bird. It’s not a morning dove. It’s not even the mute swan, who is often a considered to be a symbol of love because it mates for life. No, the new name would be applied to an animal that may or may not even have any “love life” at all. The yet to be named animal is, are you ready for this?… the Madagascar HISSING COCKROACH. You read that right: THE MADAGASCAR HISSING COCKROACH! This unique creature is the world’s biggest insect: he takes up most of the palm of an adult’s hand. (By the way: there’s a surprising and little known fact that explains why the sizes of insects are generally so small: THEY DON’T HAVE LUNGS! Instead of lungs they have little tubes on their sides called tracheae which, although they allow some respiration, are not nearly as efficient as a good pair of lungs!). And this particular Bronx Zoo cockroach is known to be rather mellow: he hisses only when annoyed and he seldom becomes annoyed because he has becomes quite accustomed to being handled. No unpleasantness is expected, therefore, at the naming ceremony.
So with all of the diplomatic breakthroughs achieved last month by President Trump, together with friday’s Senate vote to end the partisan impeachment charade by giving it the ignominious treatment it deserved, the highly partisan and weaponized news media was suddenly bereft of ANYTHING to say. So, what is the tongue tied media to do???…. It’s time, folks, to focus on the HISSING COCKROACHES! BRING EM’ ON!