A Letter From Hillary
Dear Fellow Progressives,
According to our beloved national news sources, Mr. Trump found himself Wednesday on the defensive AGAIN! What, you might ask, was the issue THIS time? Did he illegally destroy subpoenaed emails? Did he show depraved indifference to someone in mortal danger? Did he bribe federal officials? Did he even tell an off color joke? The answer is no, no, no, and no! What, then, was this latest damaging revelation? Are you ready for this?…It’s BAD!….Are you sure you can handle it?…You’ll try?…Well then, HERE it is: He took an HOUR off from campaigning to attend the opening reception for his new hotel!!! Horror of horrors!!! I WARNED YOU it would be bad!!! Do you need grief counseling? You do? Why don’t you try running off to your SAFE SPACE? Or, better yet, why don’t you make a sign and protest? Something like: “TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN DOESN’T MATTER!” or “THE ABSENTEE CANDIDATE.” or something like that. That will help!
Now, in addition to making protest signs, it is the sworn duty of every progressive in the western hemisphere to use “talking points” to change the “narrative.” His egregious malfeasance must be brought to light, exposed and challenged! Talking points:
1. It’s absolutely unconscionable that Mr. Trump would be so unconcerned about his campaign as to take an hour off!
2. It is indefensible that he would hold our electoral process in such low regard as to use an hour of precious time to attend the ceremony! With Trump, it’s always about HIM!
3. How dare he use his new hotel to promote his candidacy?
4. How dare use his candidacy to promote his new hotel?
5. How dare he do ANYTHING!
And feel free, fellow progressive, to add talking points of your own. (Intellectual themes like “TRUMP SUCKS” or “DUMP TRUMP” would be best!). But get right on this, though! We need immediate response! The very future of the civilized world is at stake!
“Sincerely”,
Hillary